Mamba Mentality Coaching: Part I

What coaches need to know that Kobe Bryant understood.

Read Mamba Mentality Coaching: Part II.

Poem by Michael Tyler, Sow the Seeds: A Composition in Verse

I recently had a long dinner conversation with two NBA players. They had been referred to me because they were struggling with the same challenge: the psychological deflation and emotional fallout that comes when you are a star whose star has fallen.

They spent hours describing the impact on their psyches caused by switching to a role player on the bench, from a key player in the starting lineup. They traded stories like playing cards about how NBA coaches expected them to adjust seamlessly to their new reality, only reacting with annoyance and frustration when the players struggled.

Neither player had lost their status as starters because they had been outplayed by a teammate, or hit a slump, or fallen out of favor of the Head Coach. Both had suffered injuries and been told their bench positions were temporary, until they were back in playing shape.

However, after recovery both players soon understood that the protocol was only conciliatory etiquette, a pacifying grant of time for how long it would take them to realize their new truth, that the short-term consequence of their injuries led to their long-term relegation as role players.

That night, over dinner, those two players spoke of being disheartened, and being punished for having gotten injured. What was taken as a promise to be returned to starting status, became viewed as a betrayal. Playing in every game was no longer guaranteed. With reduced minutes came instructions for limited freedom of play. If they veered from their assigned role, it earned prompt removal from the game. Compounding their situation was that when they didn’t act beyond the scope of their instructions, they received the same reprimand and prompt removal from the game. They felt damned if they did, and damned if they didn’t.

There are 30 teams in the NBA, each with a roster of 15 players (more when considering exceptions being made for Covid). That totals 450. For the WNBA, this means 60 players are starters for the NBA,150 players are starters, leaving 84 women and 300 men to take their place in the pecking order of relevance as role players on the bench. No college athlete eyeballing their position in the basketball draft ever does so with the dream of becoming a role player. This was also true of the two players I spoke with, both of whom went from being “THE” player on their college teams, to becoming just another player on their professional teams.

NBA players, regardless of their team rank on the roster, are still considered the best in the world. Those team members skilled and fortunate enough become role players live this distinction as a sometimes disorienting reality. To have their resulting disillusionment met by the impatience and indifference of coaches (and teams) who objectify and diminish them as “pieces” and not “people”, can often lead to the kind of deflation that extinguishes the light of a once brightly lit star.

This is even more distressingly true for WNBA players, who are further discounted by the economic disparity that impacts them, when compared to the NBA. There are fewer roster spots available, which puts them at a greater premium. The window of opportunity for them is not only smaller to begin with, additionally the distance between the sill of their talent and the frame of their compensation is also narrower.

What was happening to the players I spoke with was not unique to them. Other coaches (and teams) are similarly disposed with apathy and have similar protocol patterns and histories. The harsh reality is that there is a never-ending line of athletes waiting to go through the turnstile to become players in both leagues, which means that the “person” who is the athlete is often far less valued than the “player” they are being evaluated for — humanity versus utility. The opposing truth here is that no player exists without being the person they are. To diminish one is to diminish the other.

A mind that thinks with limits governs a life of limitations. For coaches to not interact with players as “whole people” means to not only limit the humanity of players but also their development, opportunities and successes. In doing so, it also reduces the personal and leadership growth achievements of those coaches.

Coaches who view their role beyond being game strategists and tacticians can enable players who are experiencing difficulties, rather than alienate them. Coaches who are capable of this share one common attribute, something Kobe Bryant explained in the interview documentary, Mamba Mentality, when he was asked by a student what he wish he knew at the beginning of his career, that he learned at the end:

“Understanding empathy and compassion…getting to know people on a personal level…where are their fears, where are their insecurities, where are their dreams and ambitions and desires-when you come to understand that about a person then you can help them reach the best versions of themselves.”

The magnitude of Kobe Bryant’s advice can be appreciated by comprehending the difference between two words that are often mistakenly interchanged. Sympathy means to feel for someone. Empathy means to feel as someone. The first is an emotional experience caused by an awareness of the experience of others. The second is a psychological effort to understand what those experiences are like as an actual personal experience. Where sympathy is a sensitivity response, empathy is an examining reaction. Sympathy engenders expression. Empathy enables action. It impacts thoughts and judgments that can lead to an alteration in conduct, and to the action of empathy-compassion.

Bryant elaborated on his perspective, in an interview with Baxter Holmes, Senior Writer for ESPN:

“It’s hard to tell somebody-a player at that age-to understand compassion and empathy, but that would be my advice…the biggest thing about being a leader, I think, and winning a championship is understanding how to put yourself in other people’s shoes…It’s not necessarily the skill you possess. It’s about understanding others and what they may be going through…when you understand that you can communicate with them a little better and bring out the best in them…It’s about how to connect with them…so that they can navigate through whatever issues they may be facing.”

Effective communication is essential to leadership, and the type of communication that creates crucial connections and cohesion is the type that best serves the collective aspirations of the team. Effective communication, on this level, is empathetic communication. Again, no less than Kobe Bryant realized this as THE one bit of advice he would most impart to other players.

To have a capacity for empathy and compassion, coaches (and front office execs) need to demonstrate an earnest concern and genuine appreciation of the “being human” part of being a player. This requires addressing what has long been treated like kryptonite in professional sports, especially for men-emotions. How people feel about themselves, others and the circumstances that challenge them greatly impacts their personal development, situational response and ultimately their performance. That this continues to be a hands-off, elephant ignoring, third-rail issue in sports borders on being nonsensical. People feel their way through life. Players feel their way through a game. So do coaches. To see them get called for technical fouls is to realize that they do have feelings.

Read Mamba Mentality Coaching: Part II.

Read more about Alicia’s work with championship teams at ubicastrategy.com.